The Lines: Poetry Collection

I found something…

I found something in you,
Whenever I see your dp.
I found myself in your eyes,
Whenever I look into your dp.
I found myself eager to touch you,
Whenever I touch your dp.
I found myself resilient, 
Whenever I’m trying to swipe your profile away.
I found myself best in you,
Whenever I’m not with you.
Yes! Maybe I have some interest in you,
But, whenever I find the stop in between you and me. 

I saw you…
I saw you smiling, 
It made me to smile.
I saw you to be kind with dogs,
It made me to believe in kindness.
I saw you spreading love,
It made me to believe in love.
I saw you crying,
It made me to believe in crying.
I saw you struggling,
It made me to admire your strongness.

What I want…

What I want from you,
the smile you have.
What I want from you,
the kindness you have.
What I want from you,
the sadness you have.
What I want from you,
the tears you have.
What I want from you,
the love you have.
But, dear I don’t want,
you and I live in the distance.

Maybe I’m alone…
Maybe I’m alone when,
I realised, no one is blessers.
I think tis other issues,
but found issues in me.
I felt depress’d being alone,
got to know, am not the lone.

Maybe I’m alone when,
I believed, tis like death.
I think tis depression,
or my desperation of being like.
I learnt being alive alone,
make any sense or tis need lone.

The Life…
The life, I imagined
its not the way it is.
The day, I thought
Left so long over.

The time, I wanted
childhood games.
I lost the time, I never
wanted to loose.

Struggled with my problems,

Now I’m used to it.

Most of the time, I wanted
all problems again and again.

I’m thankful to the God,
for bringing me these problems.

The Grief…
The day I sat in the restaurant,
Felt being humiliated-although.
Tried to figure out the mistake,
Lasted with the grief inside.

Somehow being overlooked through it,
the feeling of vanishing in the blood carrier.
The blood-overburdened with the grief,
the carrier refuses to bring to heart.

The restless day complaints about weight,
loads of grief being stuck inside.

Structure…
Waiting for you desperately,
another year ended now.
Unknowingly awaken if you
come again, to keep me alive.

Maybe you aren’t aware but

I’m still waiting for you.

Unexpectedly I still remember,
how you structured my life.

Maybe your smile enforces me

to awake; or maybe not.
First day is here waiting to,
recites with new memories.

Although we’ve spent the good,
times together in the past years
or maybe not. We both waits for 
our upcoming good life together.

Maybe it will come or maybe not.
Happy new year-Live happily!

My Apology…
I know I made mistakes and,
I regretted upon my childish act.
Maybe! My life was not so important
for you. Although, I apologize to my
action. I may’ve brought sadness
in your well-being. I apologize dear!

I understand My action hurt 
you a lot of buddies! I apologize.
I never wanted to hurt you,
But at the end I know I had.
Maybe my action depicted the 
importance for you! I apologize
for my every action hurts you.
 
Once in my Life…
One day, waiting to leave the campus
don’t know the fact I will be fond of.

Exactly I fond of with the beauty,
I wasn’t aware I will stick in that.
How I stuck in that loop, because 
maybe I felt something for that beauty.

It’s been 8 years with this fondness, maybe
that beauty noticed me watching or maybe not.
I thought I’ll hold that fondness for me,
BUT how that will be hold with me.

I only want that beauty to spread fondness,
with the dot below the sultry made it lovable.

Craftmanship…
Everyone’s art deliberates their hard work,
And their presentation of craftmanship.
Later thou some showcases their arts,
With their different parts of practices.

Weather some astonished by presenting,
Verbal and some are by their writings.
Thou witness with their presentation,
Some presents silently or some publicise.

Evenly also witnessed! How every artist,
unveils their life’s events and grief with it.
Sometime finds newest one and sometime
continued with the old one’s portrayals.

Pearl…
I appreciate God’s creation, but
How God can effortlessly display it.
I want to say the fig attracts most,
Might be fond of it, apparently.

Curvedness of the sultry made me to,
Dive deeper into the ale of God's gift.
I know I could only dream of,

The pearl like globule on that sultry.

I often complain! I don’t look for it,

But in end I became fond for the sultry.
Maybe the love I expects, But the way
It got appeared in my dream! I wish!

 Graves...

I've been dead long so ago,

Might be found in the graves.

Graves witnessed my dear one's,

Sought fully graves being mourn.

Mournful graves weeping though,

Might be from the betrayal laugh.

Betrayal laugh?

I saw them being free, searching

Love and care from new partner.

I wished-This grave must see them,

He had made them feel important.

But being betrayed afterwards his death,

The death being opportunities for them.

My Shadow...

I saw you tieing urself in responsibility,

There I got to know your sacrifices.

I witnessed you holding my back in,

Wherever I fall down! Thank you....my shadow.

I know and saw you weeping on the death off,

But you never let us know that you were broken.

I know the pain you holds but the responsibility,

Never let u the grief comes! Thank you...my shadow.

 I saw your weeped-laugh! I know that contains your deepest grief,

I admire you upon! How you taken up the responsibility. Thank you....my shadow!

I felt grateful and lovable to have the brother as,

I thanked the GOD for this gift. Thank you...my shadow!

                                       

Transformation...

I know thou' you work hard to,

Upholds the bonds between us.

Witnessed the transformation of yours,

I bet...it's your maturity.

The responsibility which you upholds,

I bet...it's your compulsion.

The tears you holding secretly.

I bet... it's against your wish.

The way you stopped caring about world,

I bet...it's your art of keeping us together.          

Blurred...

I've been looped-in so long,

interrogative about life.

Always wonder to know realm,

but remain unanswered about.

With all tired days in bucket list,

never found the answer towards.

The realms which I dreamt earlier,

now appears to be blurred lights.

Stucked within my own thoughts,

some says I'm overthinking about.

But I seemed speech less towards it,

don't know what to reply or how to.

Sucked by the past which I've,

never known about whom to tell.

                                

Whispering wishes…

I saw the birth of a star in the universe,
It lit the cosmos with a thousand joys.
I imagined the day when I was born—
How you held me, with eyes full of happy tears.

I saw you fight with Father, just to fulfil
My dreams and bring me every comfort.
I saw you weep when I didn’t perform well,
And I felt your silent anger, your aching heart.

I know you always pray to God above,
Whispering wishes for my health and happiness.
You are the GOD I see on this Earth,
The one I run to—with hopes, with cries.

So many times, I’ve hurt you—
With my words, my actions, my careless ways.
But still, you forgive me with silent grace,
And your tears speak the pain your lips never say.

Desert...

During the world’s night—we stirred like silent guards,
Trying to sprinkle stars upon the blackened chart.
We’re not the same—but share so many similarities,
Both of us, apart, across this endless desert of silence.

I know you’re burning in the silence of your pain,
Like sand that burns but never drifts away.
In the darkness of night, you calm your soul,
While fragments of stars rebuild the light you lost.

Waves that Disappear...

It was an astonishing life in the heaven of three years,
These years changed me deeply—shaping my character.
With the approaching darkness—I’ll be vanished,
Along with my unusual emotions and experiences.

Beneath the veil of an unexpected life—imagined,
I may find another traumatic or beautiful lesson.
With the approaching darkness—I’ll be vanished,
Like a wave in the ocean disappearing in a blink.

With winds and thunderstorms unexpected,
Life’s events strike like lightning to bring change.
With the approaching darkness—I’ll be vanished.

Yet in this fading night, a dawn will rise,
Carving new hopes beneath the endless skies.
Though with the darkness—I’ll be vanished,
My soul remembers where it once flourished.

With the Train’s Departure...

I’ll remember, with my tears in the silent night,
How I awoke from a weary phase of life.
I left the place that shaped my character,
With the train’s departure—all memories remain.
I understand the meaning this place bestowed,
It brought my life’s order in the dearest way.
I left the place that shaped my character,
With the train’s departure—all memories remain.
Though distance carries me far from its embrace,
Its spirit will guide me through every place.
I left the ground where my soul had grown,
But in my heart—Haridwar is my own.

Matters...

Upon the journey of unknown paths,
I chose not go on blurry paths.
Found my self in the poth holes,
The divinity in me gaves hope.
I tried calling everyone to bring me out,
Somehow I managed to come out.
Again got an option to chose another path,
Still I chose not to go on blurry paths.
Although path seems to be short,
Ended into never-ending poth holes.
The fear of getting into darkness,
I chose not to go on blurry paths.

My Shadow (Part - 02)...

The life you left for fulfilling the family responsibilities,
I’m speechless about it, can’t express – My Shadow.
I witnessed how cleverly you burnt all your dreams,
I can’t even imagine, my brother – My shadow.
 
I saw you laughing, with misty-eyed after burning,
I’m speechless, how you had lived upon – My Shadow.
Just to fulfil our family responsibilities – My Shadow.
 
I always asked God, “Why him”, He stayed silent,
And saw his eyes also become watery – My Shadow.
Seeing you like this, I turn lachrymose,
Yet find my strength—to stand by you – My Shadow.

Still witnessing you…with your wept laugh,

Reliving the Memories...

How much I was mad about the imagined life,
Seeing your photo made me relive that time.
With the passing time, the life we planned—
I wish somehow, we will be living together.

My misty eyes still remember our memories;
Your portrayals, I never wanted to be burnt.
Time to relive together—I’m still obsessed with it;
I wish somehow, we will be living together.

Your portrayals, I never missed to see the beauty;
I know it’s already over—but really want that.
Those memories which are burnt, still memories kept it;
I wish somehow, we will be living together.

Reliving the Memories (Part – 02)…

I still remember the time we lived together;
Through very hard days, we both passed last time.
I still wish to give another chance for that;
With the bunches of buds – I tried to forget.
 
I still remember the oaths we made to ourselves,
The time we never wanted to be burnt in.
I still wish to hold your hands against all odds;
With the bunches of buds – I tried to forget.
 
I still remember the day we were separated,
The time we both never wanted to come.
I still wish we had not been parted that time;
With the bunches of buds – I tried to forget.

My Shadow (Part - 03)...

With the remembrance of childhood,
The happiness you upheld is the answer.
How you decided—to be always there,
For the struggle of the little one – My Shadow.

With the remembrance of childhood;
The smile of being an elder brother.
An infant came with great responsibility,
Being elder—you kept it perfectly – My Shadow.

With the remembrance of childhood—
The care the child got by your love.
Even the divine power left that child alone,
To struggle out in the cruelty – My Shadow.

The Silence After You, Papa...

Still that day keeps haunting the present,
The day you left this earth — so traumatizing.
That life was the happiest life,
When you held every responsibility — Papa.

I still remember the time when,
Our home corridor echoed her laughter.
You were her pride and love — Papa.
After you, Papa —
The bangles she loved now lie silent,
Her neck still misses the mangal sutra,
Her maang’s sindoor has vanished,
Her pride in your name still aches in absence.

It’s haunting, Papa — without you, her smile
Just went missing; she only tries not to weep.
And your words proved true — the elder is capable,
To uphold the family’s strength — my brother, your shadow.

Reliving the Memories (Part – 04)...

The memory of your beloved smile,
Reminds me of the time we shared.
It keeps our love still gently glued,
Together within a dream of flowers.

The memory of your beloved smile,
Recalls the dreams we once envisioned.
It brings that love to life again,
Bound within the weave of destiny.

The memory of your beloved smile,
Still passes softly through my heart.
It keeps our dreams of togetherness,
Pressed between the pages of my diary.

When We Were Two Boys…

Yaar!! Secrets we shared never blurted,

Whenever with you always relived that childhood.

Being my cousin’s son – but the friendship,

Always answered with togetherness – We feels.

Yaar!! Life we imagined never lied about,

Still kept struggling to make our life separately.

Best time together now haunts with silence,

Always answered with the memories – we made.

Yaar!! Betrayal never touched you by,

Spent every moment together being child.

Were being with me – in problems,

Always answered about silly things – We asks.

Karma’s Call…

Some years ago, he fired a bullet at the

beloved — out of betrayal and obsession.

Morning illusions kept haunting;

the act he’d done must not be forgotten.

The drowsy and barren land of life

mirrors the karma he had made.

Some years ago, he tried cleaning the dirt

dried long before he ever thought to wash it.

Memories’ leftover stuck together with

watery eyes and drought-like mistakes.

His act shattered the illusion they lived by,

mirroring the karma he had made.

When Love Becomes Ganga...

Through the sleeper van, he started the journey,

To a place of crystal-like water she always praised.

With wonder, she took care of her little son who loved her,

And her joy bloomed whenever she saw him laughing.

With every jump he made out of pure love for her,

She beautifully nourished the life growing within him.

Her possessiveness never let him drift away,

And in her warmth, he saw the grace of Mother Ganga.

Lost…

Being a wanderer searching for clarity,

He ended up with unsolved misery.

With a subdued smile, he kept the memories,

Dying off — like a bee’s love for nectar.

Is it love, or only a need?

In finding the answer, he kept going darker,

With the emptiness of the ink pot.

Through blurred memories, he still kept fading —

Carrying the weight of those 180 days.

A Crime to Love?...

He was near the flowing water when he saw a thirsty boy.

He wanted to calm his thirst — but saw a signboard.

It was prohibited to drink from the river;

If caught, he would be treated as a criminal and fined.

His thirst vanished because of his empty pocket,

And he wondered — is this really a crime to love?

Can’t a lover calm their thirst in the flowing water?

Why Did You Leave Me, My Beloved?

On a tree’s branch, the parrot and parrotess

were making promises never to be parted.

In their understanding, love was inseparable—

God alone knew what lay ahead for them.

A man stood below with a nest in his hand,

seeing the chance to capture and trade them apart.

The parrotess escaped the sudden attack and flew,

but the parrot was caught by the man.

Parrot: SQUAWK… SQUAWK…

“My beloved, don’t go away — I’m trapped!”

Parrotess: SQUAWK… SQUAWK…

“My beloved, I’m not leaving — just come!”

The man took the parrot along with him.

The parrot kept crying out — Squawk! Squawk!

After some days, he escaped and flew away,

searching the forests for his beloved.

But he found her being eaten by a cat,

and he shattered completely — seeing his love as someone else’s food.

“O my beloved… why did you leave me?

Why, God… why did You write such a destiny for us?”

The Landscape of Loneliness...

Spending time with the evening landscape,

Dreams went missing with the falling sunsets.

Togetherness now lies with the clouds;

The Moon sees him through vapour’s veil.

Clouds now burst into the tears he upholds,

Night knows his fears of breaking in darkness.

Urging the Supreme to uphold him in a tight hug,

The loosened grip leaves only the silence he carries.

Did the evening or night sense the sorrow he carried?

A Butterfly in the Dark...

Passing through the darkest time,

He carried a butterfly of dreams.

Spending some moments in borrowed glory,

He dined with the filthiest hours of time.

Through this darkest night, he only wished

To move with the flow of passing clouds.

Who knows how dark his darkest hour truly was?

A Smile Against Fate...

Hidden hardness on your face,
Depriving darkness started in your life.
The marked lifestyle God gave you
Feels deeply unfair for a livelihood.

I wish you keep this smile,
To fight against the unfair deals of the Supreme.

It will never be acceptable, God —
Why did You write such an unwavering life for him?

Where Do I Belong?...

When awakened by the reddish light,
He avoided the hope that came to shake him.
With every wrapper torn off,
He now lay beside the walkway.

Many legs passed over him;
He started yearning —
Help! Help! Help!

“Please lift me up — I’m being thrown.”
A walker heard his yearning and lifted him.

Some days later, he yearned again —
Help! Help! Help!
“There are too many smells in this bin.”

Why does this wrapper keep yearning again and again?
Is this bin really his rightful place?

The Beloved Never Knew...

Who knows what the swan kept for the beloved?

Cherishing the feeling he hid behind his smiles,
Rigorously seeking within his own heart,
Continuously answering questions
He never dared to dream through his soul.

With every passing cloud, he burnt inside,
Holding the answers he kept hidden within.

Retired, Not Old...

Near the riverbank, a man was standing;
The lines on his forehead testified to the hardness life brought.
Someone asked, “What happened, man?” — he replied softly,
“Just paying the price of another man from history — how?”

Unimaginable toughness like the Aravalli,
Impatient like time,
A heart burning like the sun, shattered like glass pieces,
Yet still standing like a mountain.

“I can’t accept defeat — I’m not old, I just retired;
Responsibility over love,” he said, crying inside.

Alive and Dead, One Law...

A boy sat near the Manikarnika Ghat,

Slow red water dripping from his eyes.
Anger, jealousy, betrayal, and ego
Burned along with the burning body.

With every part, the soulless body kept burning,
And he withdrew all his anxiety from his soul.

Hovering above the long-belonging body,
The soul learned the purpose of life.
The beginning of karma’s retaliation surrounded it,
Fearing the consequences of the acts once done.

Are both on the same side,
Whether alive or dead?

After I Am Gone...

Someday I’ll be lying near the Manikarnika,
With my consciousness hovering above.
Watching everyone gathered around my final rest,
My body burning along with the wooden bed.

While I sleep on that bed,
Everyone will be saying—

He was just a little boy.
He lived like a king.
He wrote like a writer.
He spoke like a philosopher.
He talked like a psychiatrist.
He argued like an encyclopaedia.
He was an innocent child of God.
He didn’t deserve this ending.

A beloved child of Goddess Kali,
Now lies silent—
No smile,
No problem.

Calender Change Day...

Trees still trudged through the cold winds,
Crying, “Please God—have mercy! Winter will kill us.”
Why are these fellows lighting crackers—
Are they helping us?
Shouting, “Happy New Year!”
O my Deity, darkness still lies everywhere.

“Deity, New Year? How?”
Even I count spring as the birth of life.
Let humans celebrate the Calendar Change Day—
I’ll wait for Chaitra Pratipada.

God seemed to reply,
“Let spring arrive in the spoken world of humans.”

Did the spring come?
Oh no—it’s still freezing cold.
Only the aesthetic calendar has changed.

Face...

The dullness on your face
Holds the pain you carry within.

I know it is engraved into your life’s story—
A soul marked for a greater role ahead.

I have learned this about you:
You possess the discipline to endure.
Move forward with it,
And you will surely accomplish what awaits you.

After the Dose...

Woke up—
From a dream, or from reality?

Disorder moved through the body;
Only circulation kept it alive.
An authority intervened with measured chemistry,
Forcing the biology to comply.

Woke up—
From a dream, or from reality?

What if the body lacks immunity—
Can imposed medicine still heal it?
Or does it weaken the will to resist
What was once fought from within?

Woke up—
From a dream, or from reality?

A dose was administered in the name of cure.
The body fell silent—
Waiting to learn
Whether it had been healed,
Or merely adjusted.

Buried Under Names...

Call me a man.

I was trained for responsibility—
To keep moving, like a river that never rests.
I failed the supreme test the world demands,
And was buried under the title of a responsible man.
With earned respect, I burned my desires.
I chose status I never wanted
Over the woman I loved.

Call me a woman.

I was trained to keep the family intact—
Still, like water held inside a well.
I failed by resisting the prison they named virtue.
Under the title of an ideal woman,
I was buried beneath expectations.
I juggled duty after duty,
Choosing the family I was given
Over the one I wished to create.

Call me transgender.

I was trained to stay away—

Like sediment pushed aside by flowing water.
I failed by being neither the son nor the daughter they accepted.
Under the name of concealment,

I was buried inside my own identity.
I learned fear as survival,
Living the identity I was forced to hide
Instead of the one I was.

Graveyard of Effort...

With my heart laid bare,
I became a meal for every stray.
Crossing one small valley after another,
I was answered with barking—
From the ones I fed.

With my deepest desires exposed,
I became part of a graveyard.
After every effort spent on them,
I was answered again with barking—
The strays I fed.

Do I keep burning the desire for freedom,
Or surrender myself entirely?

Where the Wheels Grow Still...

Through every rotation of the metal wheels,
I move closer to the land of Rajput warriors.
At every halt, the wheels grow still,
As if the soil itself calls for remembrance.

Each stoppage interrupts desire,
Yet the city guards its legends—
Like Chitrakoot preserves the Ramayana.
This route carries more than passengers;
It carries memory and inheritance.

This is the land once ruled by King Khemkaran,
Where faujdars stood watch over its people.
Forgive me—I pause here only for a moment,
Yet touching this soil alters something within.

The Jat kingdoms once safeguarded their citizens
In the turmoil of the eighteenth century.

Return on the Metal Wheel...

Again on the metal wheels, the journey toward peace—
The place where I
learned, experienced, and loved.
These wheels strain to carry me there;
Yes, after a long time I will meet the one who gave me birth.

Again on the wheels of experience, gathering new memories—
The moments I
desired, despaired for, and dreamed of.
These deities seem to work for my passage;
Yes, after a long time I will meet the one who truly cared.

Again on the wheels of memories—those lived and those awaiting—
The memories I
made, make, and will make.
Time itself seems to shape my destiny;
Yes, after a long time I will meet the greatest designer.